It is righteously said, 'When life closes a door, it opens another. However, hallways are f**kingly annoying'.
It is the hallways, a 'transitory phase of life', which
modulates spatio-temporal changes of the little world we dwell in. The
transitory phase either evolves self-realization or frustration within you,
depends on which side of the sea you are in. Undergoing a transitional phase is
likely to bring lot of unexpected, acceptable or unacceptable changes which may
be disturbing as well as anticipating at the same time. While we wonder for
"what's next" in the wholesome package of life, it is tendency of
humans to hang on to the comfort zone we've been seated on when life was pretty
sedentary.
Currently, my friend is going through one of such phases
where her train of thoughts is being derailed from 'love marriage' to 'arranged
marriage'. For starters, I must inform that arranged marriage, a
well-explanatory term is arranged by over-expecting parents in India.
Arranged marriage is preferred by those who are not sure of taking risks in
love. It is futile arguing which one is better, love or arranged, as both has
its own pros and cons. And it may take generations more to change this mindset
of choosing arranged marriage over love marriage. However, no one talks about
the compromising phase or the transitory phase when one needs to modify their
daydreams (expectations) for the so-claimed better phase of life.
Breaking up a relationship may be through any methodology,
it still brings pain. So my friend went through a sensible and mutual break up,
which is kinda not-so-cool. Some disadvantages of a mutual breakup is,
* Undying love you feel for your 'ex'.
* Not enough space in heart for loathing your 'ex'.
* Lifelong respect for your 'ex'
* No guarantee of achieving similar compatibility with the
'next' (Well, that's a risk you have to deal in all kind of
marriages :P)
* The worst of all, the inevitable tendency to make
comparisons.
* Time and again you imagine, how would your ex might
have reacted to a scenario
* No obvious reason for forgetting the good times and
endeavors.
In short, winding up a relationship for preference of
arranged marriage is a challenging task. All good moments shared will be
cherished time and again for reliving the essence of happiness and chirpiness.
Analogous to neurotic drugs, withdrawal effect can be painful at times, as love
is a beautiful world in itself.
So what happens after a break-up is, one tries to cope up
with life, otherwise known as 'moving on'. First of all, hell breaks loose,
when people are aware of your relationship status, some empathize while the
rest pass a judgement at your relationship. It will be the most talked about
story in the coming years or be used as an example to teach others. Next, some
will suggest to heal a heart break by diverting attention to something
better/worse, catching up with old friends or making new, facing hard
criticisms on 'what went wrong ?', and washing down few tequillas
through your gut. After all this, you gear up for the next phase of life
wondering whether your partner will have the same sparks your ex had, will he have the same sense
of humor and presence of mind that you expect, will his wavelength of thoughts
and aspirations match yours, and many more doubts and insecurities on how far
compatibility can get the better from both of you. Having your fingers crossed
when there is an alliance for you, hoping that he is not the one destined for
you :(
So, while undergoing transitory phase, we hope that
something better is stored in for us. I believe its just relative, as the other
door that life opens for you is far better than the hallways. And once we are
through that door, comfortable suited ourselves on the path, its time for show
down. They say, thats the only way bitchy life functions !! An only age-old,
soothing answer to all this is to be patient and open, to accept changes as
change is good. Shed away the regrets, as life is made up of moments and not
milestones.
I am going to give it a second shot, as thats all I have.
You neva' know what is lurking behind that door ;)
Until next time !!!
Signing off with hope :)
