Transistion phase ~ Hallways of life

It is righteously said, 'When life closes a door, it opens another. However, hallways are f**kingly annoying'.

It is the hallways, a 'transitory phase of life', which modulates spatio-temporal changes of the little world we dwell in. The transitory phase either evolves self-realization or frustration within you, depends on which side of the sea you are in. Undergoing a transitional phase is likely to bring lot of unexpected, acceptable or unacceptable changes which may be disturbing as well as anticipating at the same time. While we wonder for "what's next" in the wholesome package of life, it is tendency of humans to hang on to the comfort zone we've been seated on when life was pretty sedentary.

Currently, my friend is going through one of such phases where her train of thoughts is being derailed from 'love marriage' to 'arranged marriage'. For starters, I must inform that arranged marriage, a well-explanatory term is arranged by over-expecting parents in India. Arranged marriage is preferred by those who are not sure of taking risks in love. It is futile arguing which one is better, love or arranged, as both has its own pros and cons. And it may take generations more to change this mindset of choosing arranged marriage over love marriage. However, no one talks about the compromising phase or the transitory phase when one needs to modify their daydreams (expectations) for the so-claimed better phase of life.

Breaking up a relationship may be through any methodology, it still brings pain. So my friend went through a sensible and mutual break up, which is kinda not-so-cool. Some disadvantages of a mutual breakup is,

* Undying love you feel for your 'ex'.

* Not enough space in heart for loathing your 'ex'.

* Lifelong respect for your 'ex' 

* No guarantee of achieving similar compatibility with the 'next' (Well, that's a risk you have to deal in all kind of marriages :P)

* The worst of all, the inevitable tendency to make comparisons.

* Time and again you imagine, how would your ex might have reacted to a scenario

* No obvious reason for forgetting the good times and endeavors.

In short, winding up a relationship for preference of arranged marriage is a challenging task. All good moments shared will be cherished time and again for reliving the essence of happiness and chirpiness. Analogous to neurotic drugs, withdrawal effect can be painful at times, as love is a beautiful world in itself.

So what happens after a break-up is, one tries to cope up with life, otherwise known as 'moving on'. First of all, hell breaks loose, when people are aware of your relationship status, some empathize while the rest pass a judgement at your relationship. It will be the most talked about story in the coming years or be used as an example to teach others. Next, some will suggest to heal a heart break by diverting attention to something better/worse, catching up with old friends or making new, facing hard criticisms on 'what went wrong ?', and washing down few tequillas through your gut. After all this, you gear up for the next phase of life wondering whether your partner will have the same sparks your ex had, will he have the same sense of humor and presence of mind that you expect, will his wavelength of thoughts and aspirations match yours, and many more doubts and insecurities on how far compatibility can get the better from both of you. Having your fingers crossed when there is an alliance for you, hoping that he is not the one destined for you :(

So, while undergoing transitory phase, we hope that something better is stored in for us. I believe its just relative, as the other door that life opens for you is far better than the hallways. And once we are through that door, comfortable suited ourselves on the path, its time for show down. They say, thats the only way bitchy life functions !! An only age-old, soothing answer to all this is to be patient and open, to accept changes as change is good. Shed away the regrets, as life is made up of moments and not milestones.

I am going to give it a second shot, as thats all I have. You neva' know what is lurking behind that door ;)

Until next time !!!

Signing off with hope :)

Noting down my dreams as I turn 25

Its amazing that we all dream big as we grow up, we aim high, have higher expectations from life, and the fun of tripping over starts when we chase after our dreams and life has its own purposeful plans for us. Eventually, we adjust to it, and get content to our present state, deep down in a sacred room of our heart, we still linger on to the feeling that wish, I did that....wish I was that !!!

Here, I am writing an open note to myself, as I turn 25 this October 2013, wishing the next 25 years, I try my best to keep a note of my dreams and hang on to fulfill them, as time passes by without any regrets. On this notion, I would also recommend each and everyone to write an open note to self, so that you get a reason to smile when the days are cloudy, gloomy and dim.

1. First on my list, to learn swimming. (I have always been avoiding it with the fear of being tanned, but I need to make up my mind for it soon)

2. To learn driving and own a carrrr....actually I would rather prefer being driven around and reading a newspaper at the backseat.

3. To have a walk-in wardrobe, all for myself with high range cosmetics (read M.A.C and Chanel No. 5), Manolo Blahnik shoes and Diana Fendi Dress and Louis Vuitton bags :P

4. To learn salsa in six inc. stilettos

5. Get pampered at spa monthly once

6. To own a vacation villa somewhere in Himalayas

7. To make my parents proud (obviously, this one is a priority)

8. To have a lavish, yet a busy life revolving around work and family

9. To make sudden travel plans for holiday or to meet anyone around the world, without endless waiting for permissions

10. To own a hospital at rural areas or rather giving away free medicines (This am gonna make it work definitely !) 

11. To make peace with my past and present (I don't have any regrets, its just that I don't like being judged!)

12. To innovate in cooking, to understand flavors and focus on good life ! (This one, is unfortunately still has a long way to go)

13. To get my interview featured once in newspaper and TV ;) (Now, that's way too much, I Know!)

14. To learn walking and working in saree ! For some reason, I love wearing saree, but I am just not comfortable in it !

15. Last, but not the least, get my anger channelized in a wonderfully, positive manner ! (That's tough, but we gotta find some way !)    

 So, Life, get ready, we gonna challenge each other to complete these tasks set. Hopefully, I'll have another list ready, as and when I get used to the ring master, Life !

A lethal dose for every mankind

I was just conversing with one of my college bestie who was down with 'college nostalgia fever' when I advised her that often rainy environments added up with coffee, blankly staring out of window, soft music and random memories is a lethal combination that often ends up in tears. Particularly, on rainy days or while cleaning up cupboards or moving out from one place to another, memories instigate to make us feel weak, sad and stubborn to not accept the changes that we are going through in the present day.

One such memory that is very close to my heart was the beach outing with my college girlie gang, also known as 'Al-Baboota' gang. That day is still so fresh in my mind that I can re-live those memories instantly as I am writing this blog. So, on going down the memory lane, it was September 27, 2007 when we girls were whining about how boys used to bunk classes constantly and how we were too sincere to do such acts. Also, my hostel friends were too bored to eat hostel ka tasteless khana. So, just when the lunch break started, we were convincing each other to bunk, to go for Mansukh's in T Nagar, Chennai and eat mast Gujarati delicacies. Mansukh's restaurant served unlimited food for just Rs.99 (Keep in mind ! This was way back in the year 2007). So, finally the gutsy Al-Baboota gang took their steps towards Potheri station. We ran towards the train, convinced the train master to wait for few seconds, so that everyone running behind us could catch the train. Then we headed to Mansukh's to hog unlimited goodies. A couple of my friends were gluttony that particular day, as they starved of 'good food' in hostel. Then, we immediately planned to go to Besant Nagar beach in Adyar. As usual, short of money, we went in an empty local bus and then walked 500m to beach. While walking, as we saw the sea, we all started running towards it as if we had achieved freedom. Just when all of us reached the sea, we all planned to plunge into the sea and have fun. The climate supported our fun outing by raining and we all had a gala time on a empty beach. One of my friend also dropped her mobile (Nokia 1100) in the sea and was surprised that the phone still worked ! Thanks to the manufacturers authenticity ! 

After all this fun and completely drenched, we planned to leave. As usual, due to shortage of money, we had no option than to stuff all the eight of us in one auto. We somehow managed to convince the auto man and also went in that auto with girls complaining of being uncomfortable with the setting. But, the point is that we, Indians always believe in adjusting and cooperating with each other (In the photo, you can see the auto behind us). All in all, we really enjoyed bunking college that day and I am sure all my friends cherish this memory whenever they think about bunking college and making sudden awesome outing plans.         

I lived in Canberra, Australia for two years where rains used to pour day in day out unpredictably. Most of the times, I used to spend or rather waste these beautiful moments working sincerely in lab. But whenever I used to get time I used to get nostalgic about the fond memories I collected all these years of my life. My heart begins to sink and eventually I get depressed as the memories start flowing in to make my heart heavier and heavier. During such heavy heart-ed days, there was nothing that could deviate my mindset from getting nostalgic. So, what I used to do on such exceptional days was to let my heart sink, shed some tears, and convince myself that 'everything happens for a reason'.

All my readers, I would love to advise you to take up this lethal combination, lighten your heavy heart, take a day off from your hectic schedules, go down the memory lane, catch up with old friends cause, race for better career will definitely take you everywhere except to the cherishing memory lane.